Royal Courts
Henry VIII
King of England
Biography
The Renaissance Prince Turned Tyrant
Most remember Henry VIII for his marital carousel and his break with the Catholic Church. But before the beheadings, Henry was a handsome, athletic Renaissance man who composed music, spoke multiple languages, and loved showing off his calves. That all changed in 1536 when a horrific jousting accident left him unconscious for two hours. Historians suspect this caused a severe traumatic brain injury, explaining his sudden shift from a jovial monarch into a paranoid, bloodthirsty tyrant who executed an estimated 72,000 people during his reign.
The Groom of the Stool and Other Oddities
As Henry aged, his life grew incredibly bizarre. He developed a foul-smelling, ulcerated leg wound from the jousting accident that had to be drained constantly. Unable to exercise, he ballooned to nearly 400 pounds, requiring mechanical inventions just to hoist him into bed or onto his horse. Yet, courtiers literally fought over his bodily functions. The Groom of the Stool—the nobleman tasked with accompanying the King to the toilet and wiping his royal backside—was the most coveted position in court because it guaranteed intimate, unguarded access to the king's ear.
A Macabre Legacy
Henry's romantic life was just as unhinged as his physical health. Not only did he execute two of his wives, but he meticulously designed the details of Anne Boleyn's execution, ordering a special swordsman from France to ensure a clean cut. His eccentricities left a lasting mark on history:
- He started a whole new religion (the Church of England) just so he could annul his first marriage.
- He wore massive, heavily padded codpieces to project exaggerated masculinity.
- He supposedly ate upwards of 5,000 calories a day in his later years.
Connection Map
Drag nodes to explore · Click to read more
Connected Strange History
Catherine of Aragon
Before she became the famous first ex-wife of King Henry VIII, Catherine of Aragon was a formidable Spanish princess who rode into battle heavily pregnant and sent a dead king's bloody coat to her husband as a souvenir. She stubbornly defied the entire English Reformation, refusing to drop her title until the day she died with a mysteriously blackened heart.
Mary I of England
Mary I, famously known as 'Bloody Mary,' was England's first undisputed queen regnant who burned hundreds of Protestants in her quest to restore Catholicism. Yet, her most bizarre historical footprint involves two highly publicized phantom pregnancies, where her desperate desire for an heir caused her body to physically mimic the symptoms of expecting a child.
Catherine Parr
Catherine Parr is famous for being the sixth and final wife of King Henry VIII—the one who 'survived.' But what history books often gloss over is her wild marital record, her incredibly close brush with the executioner's block over a religious debate, and the downright macabre post-death fate of her perfectly preserved corpse.
Anne Boleyn
Queen Anne Boleyn was the infamous second wife of King Henry VIII who literally caused England to break from the Catholic Church just so they could marry. Plagued by bizarre rumors of witchcraft and six fingers, her chaotic reign was cut violently short when Henry decided a French swordsman's blade was cheaper than another divorce.
Life Timeline (17)
Sources
The Six Wives of Henry VIII by Alison Weir, Henry VIII: The King and His Court by Alison Weir, Wikipedia